Trying to Live By the Golden (election)Rule

Here’s a story some of you may have heard, but we have never talked about publicly. And when you read this story, you’ll quickly understand why we were hesitant to share. I’m sharing it now because in the last few weeks, I have seen countless comments on my personal social media posts and elsewhere, referring to the “hate coming from both sides” and quite honestly, I’m sick of it. I could easily spout off a list of a dozen or more hateful things the Republican candidate for president has said in the last week alone, not to mention the hate being spewed by his cronies out there campaigning for him. When I have confronted these comments, not one person has been able to come back with one hateful thing said by the Democratic candidate or her surrogates. Why? Because it hasn’t happened. Nothing Kamala Harris has said has caused an entire community to be turned upside down in fear by death threats to every-day citizens, nor bomb threats to schools and vandalizing homes and businesses. Thanks to the former president, that has happened in at least two communities. Due to his hate and lies, people formed militias to fight the very people there to help them after Hurricane Helene. You want to talk about hate? My God, how do you all not see that? But I digress…let me go back a little in time…

In December of 2012 when the Sandy Hook shooting occurred, I was the mommy to a kindergartener and 37 weeks pregnant with my second child. At the time I blamed Zoe’s proximity in age to the victims and my hormones for my reaction to the tragedy that day. But I vividly remember sitting by the glow of the Christmas tree watching President Obama (a president I never voted for) address the nation with genuine tears in his eyes – Brian and I were crying right along with him. That day still haunts me, especially when I think about Zoe’s class – a generation of kids who are seniors in high school now – they were the last class of American children to start school not having regular active shooter lock down drills. That day is when my political views started to shift. And they continued to shift, but I stayed true to the Republican Party, even when it wasn’t staying true to me. 

Brian and I both voted for Trump in 2016 – as embarrassing as it is to admit now. We both regretted it almost immediately. I remember actually physically gagging as I filled in the little bubble for him on the ballot. Like so many others, including, I imagine, the former members of his administration, we thought the character he played in public was not who he was behind closed doors and the sanctity of the office would force him to change his ways. We quickly realized we had made a grave mistake. When Roe vs Wade was shockingly overturned my blood boiled. (I wrote about that two years ago, you can read about it here.) Brian, who was an elected Republican township supervisor at the time, was so angered and embarrassed by what was happening, he changed his voter registration to Democrat before the 2020 election. I was determined to be counted as a Republican rural woman voting for Biden. Then January 6th happened. Not the major milestone January 6th has been in the Wiker house since 2013- our youngest daughter’s birthday – but the event that will now taint her birthday for the rest of her life – Trump’s attempted coup and attack on the Capitol. That was my breaking point. I changed my voter registration that day and haven’t looked back once – except with regret that I didn’t do it sooner. 

The 2022 mid term election was the first we got to participate in as registered Democrats. The two big seats up for grabs in PA were governor and US Senate. As the misfits running on the republican side felt like jokes – Dr. Oz and Doug Mastriano – it was a bit of a comical campaign, but we were excited to support Josh Shapiro and John Fetterman. We have several friends that worked with Shapiro while he was Attorney General who could not say enough good about him. And how do you not support a guy who campaigns in his fanciest Carhardt gear – but also has a degree from Harvard? We put one Fetterman and one Shapiro sign in our yard in August of 2022. That was it. Nothing over the top, nothing threatening, just two basic yard signs which I purchased with donations to each candidate’s campaign. 

In case you weren’t aware, you can receive a preview of what is coming in your mail from the US Postal service via an email they refer to as “USPS Informed Delivery”. We get an email every morning with everything arriving in that day’s mail, as it is scanned at the post office. One morning in mid-October of that year, a bizarre letter showed in that email:

It raised concern, but then we went about the morning doing all the usual things – getting the kids off to school, Brian and I went to work (him in an office in Lancaster, me in my home office). When the mail arrived I remembered the weird envelope and ran to get the mail. The doorbell camera alerted Brian that I had gone outside, he called me right away. I ripped open the envelope and began reading the letter to him – as I was reading, the hair stood up on the back of my neck, and I said “I don’t think I should be touching this.” We shared photos of the letter with a friend in law enforcement who agreed we shouldn’t be handling it, and he advised us to file a police report immediately. To say we were shaken was an egregious understatement. We were terrified. I did file a police report and the state police took the letter into their possession so all we have left are these photos.

I took this letter personally. It accused us of so many things, none of which were true, but it truly hurt my feelings. Yes, I’m a big girl, and generally have a pretty thick skin, but to be accused of so many terrible things, and via the postal service, words can’t adequately describe the anxiety and hurt that letter caused me. As that week went on, our anger mounted, and Brian declared he wanted to line our entire property with signs. It just so happened I had a colleague who was active with the state Democratic Committee. I shared the letter with him and once he recovered from the shock of it, he said “I love this plan, I got you.” We met for lunch later that week and he filled my trunk with Shapiro and Fetterman signs. Before we put the signs up, Brian installed multiple cameras both facing the road and the house to try to catch whomever was “watching us”. Our children were less than thrilled with our decision to have over 20 political signs lining our road, but they understood we were not going to cower to hate or threats. And we still won’t. 

This year we have been more active than ever – we have attended political rallies and fundraisers. We have taken our girls to these events – to show them what being an informed voter means, to show them what love, kindness, respect, and civil service SHOULD look like. We have talked about the insanity being spewed during every commercial break of everything we watch on TV. Seriously, I’m jealous of those of you not in PA – now known as the “Swingiest of the swing states.” While our oldest is a senior, she is young for her grade and won’t be 18 until next year, but I know we have set a good example for her of how to research a candidate, how to fact check a statement by a candidate, and how you ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS live by the Golden Rule. 

So friends, when you make a statement such as “there is hate coming from both sides”, be prepared to give examples of hate coming from the left, because to this day I haven’t see it one time. I have, however, experienced it personally, coming from the right. I cannot fathom how the folks in Springfield, OH, and Aurora, CO, and even those in Western NC feel right now. It is damn scary. Be kind and love your neighbors – ALL of your neighbors.